Bondage fetish is a great way to spice up a relationship, whether you’re a Dom or a sub. It can be incredibly sexually gratifying, and can also reinforce rules in Dom/sub relationships.
However, it’s important to approach bondage play with caution. It’s best to discuss it with your partner while they are in a positive mood.
1. Know your limits
When starting out with bondage fetish, it’s important to know your limits. This is true for any kink, but especially when you’re new to the practice. It can be easy to push boundaries too far, which can lead to physical discomfort and even sexual injury. To avoid this, it’s important to understand your own limits and communicate them with your partner.
Start by writing down your soft and hard limits, which you can then refer to during sex play. For example, a hard limit might be “I don’t want to be tied up.” A soft limit, on the other hand, could be “I only like it when I’m the one doing the tying.”
Once you’ve identified your kinks and limits, it’s important to discuss them with your partner before playing. This will help ensure that the experience is safe, enjoyable, and consensual. It will also help you prevent any potential misunderstandings that could cause a lot of pain down the road.
You and your partner should also establish a safety word, which will signal that sex play must stop immediately. While this may seem a bit daunting, Wilde says that it’s the best way to ensure that you and your partner are safe at all times. It will also prevent you from feeling guilty if you end the session prematurely or if your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with your limits.
2. Know your partner’s limits
When engaging in bondage fetishes, it is important that all sexual partners understand each other’s limits. It’s also a good idea to discuss and negotiate them so that everyone knows what is or is not allowed. Sexual partners should also consider implementing a safeword, which is a word or signal that indicates the end of play and can be used at any time. Finally, it is important to remain sober during BDSM.
During the initial stages of a bondage relationship, it’s a good idea to start out slow and work your way up to more intense fetishes. This allows both people to become more comfortable with each other and their kinky interests. It’s also a great way to build trust and intimacy.
A good BDSM partner will be able to read their partner’s hard and soft limits. They will know what’s off limits and what they can push, which is a great way to open up new kinky experiences that may not have been explored before.
However, it’s important to note that hard limits will not always be negotiable. For example, a person’s refusal to be touched in any way during a session might be a clear hard limit. If the person refuses to budge on this issue, it might be best to look for another kink lover who will.
3. Start small
Bondage is one of the most well-known fetishes (thanks, Fifty Shades), but some people find it arousing for reasons that aren’t necessarily sexual. For example, a 2019 systematic scoping review found that some people who practice this kink find it satisfying to play with power dynamics and assert dominance through physical restraint.
However, jumping into bondage isn’t easy for beginners. It’s important for both partners to set ground rules about what is and isn’t acceptable before playing. It’s also a good idea to start small and gradually increase the level of restraint based on comfort and skill.
Some people enjoy tying up their partner as a form of intimate bondage. Others love the feeling of being restrained during sex and find that it helps them focus more on the pleasure they’re experiencing. In addition, for those who find pleasure in a more submissive role, bondage can be a great way to explore erotic submission.
To try your hand at bondage, O’Reilly recommends starting with something simple, such as tying your partner’s arms behind their back and letting them do oral sex. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you can try other creative bondage positions. For example, you can bind your partner’s ankles together and use a tether to pull their legs up into the air. This allows you to fondle their genitals or give them a wild spanking.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
If you’re considering bondage for the first time, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s a safe and healthy way to explore your own boundaries and sexual fantasies, says Wilde. “It can also be a great way to test out if this is something you want to do for a long term relationship,” she adds.
Bondage is a form of restraint that falls under the umbrella of BDSM, or the kinks of discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. It’s the act of one person tying up another for sexual pleasure and/or emotional intimacy.
There are a lot of different ways you can engage in bondage, from using kinky sex toys to tying up your partner with a simple scarf or tie. But, no matter what your kink is, it’s important to set ground rules with your partner and agree on a safe word or stop mechanism.
It’s also a good idea to keep a pair of safety-edge scissors, which are bent and designed for cutting fabric without risking your hands, on hand, should you need to cut a rope or bondage tool that becomes too tight. You don’t want to ruin your gear, but you do want to ensure that you have the ability to free yourself or your partner if necessary. And, remember to use a soft lubricant so you can cut with ease.