Anal Fetish Tips

There are a few things that are crucial to anal play success: Wanting it, preparing for it, and enthusiastic consent.

Of course, anal may not be your bag. That’s totally fine, and there are plenty of other sexual acts that don’t involve the butthole. But for those that do, these anal fetish tips will help make the experience more pleasurable and comfortable.

1. Know Your Limits

As any sex lover knows, anal play has the potential to get messy. That’s why it’s important to use plenty of lube, washable sheets and anal-friendly toys, says Danyelle Fima, cofounder of sex toy company Velvet Co. 24. She also advises against just sticking a penis or toy in the booty hole without warming up first. That can be painful, and it may make the anal fetish less enjoyable for both partners.

It’s also a good idea to communicate with your partner about anal sex ahead of time, so that everyone is on the same page about their boundaries and comfort level. You can also try different positions to see what feels best for you and your partner. For example, doggy style is a good anal-friendly position that can feel great for both partners. The standard missionary position is another good option.

While penetrating the anus is often considered the pinnacle of anal sex, there are many other erogenous zones that can be stimulating as well — licking and tasting the lips, mouth, ears, nipples and pits, rubbing the buttock cheeks, rimming the anus, slapping or spitting on the anus, and sucking on the feet, toes and hands are all anal-friendly. Ultimately, it’s about what turns you on and what feels comfortable.

2. Start Slow

You’ll want to start slow with anal play, because you don’t want to rush into penetration, which can lead to pain. “The anus is a very sensitive, backward-facing sex organ, so it’s important to take the time to warm up and explore this new area before moving into actual penetration,” Sinclair tells Bustle. Ideally, you should start with a few minutes of foreplay before you get to the actual anal play so that both of you are feeling relaxed and comfortable. Using foreplay on the anus isn’t the same as using foreplay on any other part of the body, so you can experiment with pleasure by stroking, kneading, and massaging the area as you would any other erogenous zone.

It’s also a good idea to try penetrating your partner in different positions before you jump straight into anal. Different positions have different advantages, so you might find you like one more than the other, or even prefer no penetration at all. Many positions are anal sex-friendly, including doggy style, spooning, and the standard missionary position. But when you do decide to penetrate, go shallow at first. This will make it less likely that you will accidentally suck in your own feces (though this does sometimes happen, and can be painful). If you’re going to be penetrating, be mindful of speed, depth, and force, and be sure to communicate throughout.

3. Keep It Clean

The anus is an erogenous zone, but it’s also the end of your large intestine – which means that it can get pretty gross. If you play with your butthole, make sure to always start with a clean finger (or a sex toy) and don’t put anything up there that doesn’t have a base. The anus is a greedy little hole that will swallow objects that aren’t anchored down. You should also wash your anal sex toys regularly to prevent the spread of infection.

If you’re going to be touching your anus and genitals at the same time, use latex gloves to separate these areas. It will help you avoid contact with any trace amounts of fecal matter, and it’s easy to change your gloves anytime you want to switch from anal to vaginal touch.

Putting a towel on the bed before anal play can also help reduce mess. It will keep your sheets from getting stained and it will catch any lube, bodily fluids, or fecal matter that might leak during anal play. Many people find that watching their partner put on a pair of gloves turns on them, so consider making this part of the anal sex ritual.

4. Have Fun

For many people, anal sex is deeply pleasurable. It can be a gateway to more intense sexual pleasure, a way of enacting deeply held fantasies or simply a satisfying part of the bottom-up experience. If you’re considering trying it, here are a few things to keep in mind.

For starters, make sure you both feel comfortable. If it’s your first time with anal play, go slow and easy. Don’t try to force insertion. A rushed anal sex session can be painful, and you could legit get hurt. Try anal penetration in positions that are anal friendly, such as doggy style or spooning.

It’s also a good idea to start with foreplay. Lubing up the anal area, stroking it and making it tingle, and using a butt plug are all good options. A hot bath is another good pre-anal play move that’ll help loosen tight muscles and boost blood flow to the erogenous zone.

And if you can find an anal-friendly toy that has a flared base (as opposed to a straight tip), go ahead and give it a try before you reach for your partner’s anus. But please don’t anal douch or use enema-style cleansers before anal play — doing so can increase the risk of infection and lead to serious health issues. Instead, focus on talking about boundaries and exploring different anal stimulation to find what turns you on most.

Anal Fetish Tips
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